I Hate To Complain But... Personal denial

So, I’ve been back at 3rd Degree Training for a full session, 8 weeks where “Oh My GOD what am I doing” turns into “Hey, look how good I’m doing” which is great. But it turns out that it isn’t so much my commitment to showing up for a class is the issue. It’s my lack of self-control and amazing capabilities when it comes to denial.

My goal here was to lose about 10 pounds, not much, just wasn’t super happy with what I saw in the mirror and instead of doing what I usually do, shrugging my shoulders…heavy sigh….go to bed early, I figured it was time to be proactive. I started 8 weeks with the 6am class. It worked (in theory) perfectly with my schedule. Get up at 5, have something to eat, get to the gym, 45 – 50 minute workout, go to work, shower and change at the station and start my day by 7:30 – 8:00. On the days where this worked it was perfect. But apparently my body needs more time to wake up. I had a couple of classes where I had to stop the workout (sugar crash??) and I’d either just not be able to push through, or I’d get sick. There are people in the fitness world who think it isn’t truly a work out until you’ve puked….I believe if it makes you puke, it can’t be good for you. So I switched to the evening classes making it to class for either 5:30 or 6:30. Have I lost 10 pounds? I honestly don’t know, what I do know is that the new jeans I bought in July, are a little big on me now. Am I down a size? I’m not sure, my money is going to other things right now clothes are pretty low on the list of priority. So yay, I’ve seen progress, I do feel better and each class wraps up with a sense of accomplishment. It’s when I get home….after the class…..before bed…..that I can go off the rails.

Usually I eat before class, but by the time class is over I’m STARVING. I feel like there are people who prepare for this by having HEALTHY snacks on standby. Maybe a package of Almonds, or veggies already cut up, something like that. I am not a planner. I can come home from class with this epic sense of accomplishment have a shower, put the jammie jams on, and then it happens…..I remember that I bought 2 bite brownies….and Heavenly Hash Ice Cream….and whipped Cream…..because I have been SOOOO GOOOOOOOD lately, and so Stressed out about stuff lately, that I deserve to treat myself. Once. But, I still 2 bite brownies….heavenly hash ice cream…..and whipped cream at my house.

Here’s what I do, I crumble up 4 or 5 of the brownies, put them in the microwave for about 90 seconds, add 2 – 3 oooooooor 4 scoops of ice cream, and 1 – 2 ooooooooor 3 scoops of whipped cream on top.


Here’s what I think is the TWISTED part of what I do to myself. I can lick the bowl clean, or rinse it out, hide all evidence, put the bowl in the dishwasher, and it’s like it magically never happened. BONUS POINTS if no one was home to hear the Microwave beep after the brownies were warmed up, then it really really really REALLY didn’t happen.

#IHateToCompalin But…..Is all of the work really worth it, is denying yourself delicious food REALLY worth it?

Those bad days when you just want to make a pillow fort and eat ice cream and wear a onesie REALLY that BAD?

I think Kate Moss had it wrong, just about everything tastes as good as skinny feels.