This device (that looks like a sex toy) helps keep your conversations private!

This thing looks like a sex toy....

But it's NOT! 

It's purpose is to make you feel like your phone conversations are SOOOOO important and top-secret that you don't want anyone finding out what you're talking about.

So if you're having phone sex in public, you should be wearing one of these.

....I suppose it is a sex toy, in that case.