LOOK: This Dude Missed A Local Strip So Much That He Built A Replica...For Squirrels?
We really are living in bizarre times, friends. I've said that before, and I'll likely say it again, but truthfully? I'm not sure I've ever meant as much as I do right this second, as I prepare to tell you about a man who built a strip club for squirrels.
While real life strip clubs are trying to navigate a strange new world of "clothes off, masks on", some patrons are getting creative.
I don't know his real name, so we'll have to just use his Twitter name, "Zarkerelli The Don". But yes, he's the one who decided to replicate a notorious Cleveland strip club, for squirrels in his backyard.
I have been keeping this project top secret before complete. Code name Area 69. My mini Lido Lounge for animals friends. pic.twitter.com/8Iopv9kaMD— Zarkerelli the Don (@Paranoid_P_Dub) May 18, 2020
Incoming! Moved to slow Mr. Squirrel! Blue Jays rule! pic.twitter.com/4W4hHxHP7y— Zarkerelli the Don (@Paranoid_P_Dub) May 18, 2020
Damn I was so excited I misspelt too! Too damn excited! Here is how I feel rechecking all my dumb old tweets! pic.twitter.com/U18ZdfnOzt— Zarkerelli the Don (@Paranoid_P_Dub) May 18, 2020
Zarkerelli elaborated on what led to him building a strip club for squirrels.
"We became close buddies," Warren told Scene Monday. "I bought a picnic table on eBay that I saw somebody made during quarantine. People are connecting with nature since human connections are not possible. Somebody sent me a picture of a squirrel bar and I said, I should get one. I was trying to fall asleep and the idea of a squirrel Lido Lounge came to me in a semi-conscious state, and I knew it was my destiny to build it."
So happy my squirrel buddy has been seen by so many eyes. Tomorrow when I feed him he won’t have a clue. This is for you Scro, the real MVP. pic.twitter.com/eJmp8moroz— Zarkerelli the Don (@Paranoid_P_Dub) May 19, 2020
Look, I'm not gonna chirp a dude for passing the pandemic time by giving local squirrels a place to unwind. It's not like my life is any more exciting right now.
Can’t tell if my excitement about a new Superstore in my neighbourhood is a sign of old age, pandemic boredom, giving up, or all of the above.— JD 🥃 (@JDfromCJAY) May 18, 2020
And if this hasn't killed enough time for you today, consider flipping through the Yelp! reviews for the real Lido Lounge.