Laura Merrill, who lost her singer-songwriter father Alan Merrill to COVID-19 on Sunday morning, is using the music of a Canadian artist in the healing process.
“When you can’t sleep at 3am you get up and sing,” Laura wrote in a Facebook post. She shared a video in which she is sitting on the bathroom floor, surrounded by candles, and singing City and Colour’s 2008 track “As Much As I Ever Could.”
Laura explained: “A client reached out recently and said during a recent loss they were listening to a lot of City and Colour which was ironic because before this happened so had I.
“Music is healing. Singing is my therapy.”
Her father formed The Arrows in London in 1974 and had hits like “Touch Too Much” and “My Last Night With You.” He co-wrote “I Love Rock ’n’ Roll" for the band and it later became a signature hit for Joan Jett & the Blackhearts.
Merrill was 69 when he died of complications from COVID-19 in New York City. His last Facebook post, on March 25, was a photo of his dog resting her head on his lap. “Time to relax, stay home, read books, watch films and cuddle Lady Bea! Stay well, my friends!”
In an earlier post, Laura said she was given two minutes to say goodbye to her father before being rushed out of the hospital.
“He seemed peaceful and as I left there was still a glimmer of hope,” she wrote. “I walked 50 blocks home still with hope in my heart … By the time I got in the doors to my apartment I received the news that he was gone.”
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Laura’s stepmother, Merrill’s widow Joanna Lisanti, also shared details of the musician’s last days.
“About 2 weeks ago, Alan felt like he was getting a cold and then the flu. I was immediately suspicious, and of course Alan being Alan, he told me I was getting hysterical for no reason,” she wrote. “I nonetheless researched about what to do if you get the Cornavirus. Every article I read said that there is no help available unless you have severe symptoms – can’t breathe or [your] chest really hurts. Otherwise the hospital will not admit you or test you for Covid-19. And this was absolutely true.
“There was nothing I could do for Alan except watch him get worse. When he finally couldn't breathe, was so cold he needed piles of blankets on top of him, and couldn't sleep, I called an ambulance. The EMTs told me I wasn't allowed to go with him into the ER, so there was no point in accompanying him.”
Lisanti had no information about her husband’s condition until an ER doctor called her an hour later.
“She said as far as she could tell (good thing she's a doctor) he had the virus but he needed to be tested before he could be admitted to ICU. But that would take at least 10 hours,” she recalled.
“Ten hours later I didn't hear back, so I called Mt. Sinai and was told he did test positive and would be moved to ICU so he could get better attention from the pulmonologists there. At 10:30 a doctor called me and told me they were actually NOT moving him since his body was shutting down because his lungs were too destroyed to work.
“I asked if he had to die alone, and the doctor said I could come say goodbye. When I got to the hospital I had to argue with 3 different security guards to let me go to the ER. I stood my ground and they went back to fetch a nurse who let me in. This was around 11pm.”
Lisanti learned that Merill was sedated and on a respirator. His condition had improved enough that he would be moved to the ICU – but this didn’t happen until around 2:30 a.m. With nothing else she could do, Lisanti left the hospital.
“I walked 3 blocks towards home and the doctor called me to say he was gone, his heart and lungs just stopped beating from all the pressure they were under,” she said.
“And now I have to grieve alone in quarantine.”
Lisanti said she is angry about the process and the lack of testing for COVID-19. “I urge you to REALLY take this seriously,” she wrote, “and when the time comes, show your anger to the officials who knew this was coming and did nothing to prepare.”