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Britney Spears Apologizes For Pretending To Be OK

spears-1.15491164 spears-1.15491164 (Instagram / britneyspears)

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Britney Spears took to Instagram late Thursday to apologize for previous messages in which she assured fans she was doing OK.

“I just want to tell you guys a little secret … I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing,” she wrote. “I think that’s what we all strive for !!!! That was one of my mother’s best traits … no matter how s**tty a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok.

“I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!! I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn’t want to capture their Instagram in a fun light.”

MORE: Britney Spears Begs To End Conservatorship

Last November, Spears responded via Instagram to concerns about her well being. “I just want to let you guys know that I am fine,” she insisted, in a video clip. “I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.” Then, in April, she said during an Instagram Q&A: "I’m totally fine. I’m extremely happy. I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I’m taking a break right now because I’m enjoying myself."

Spears said Thursday that pretending to be alright has, in fact, helped her. She posted a quote attributed to Albert Einstein about children becoming intelligent if they are read fairy tales.

“I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales!!!!!”

The Instagram post is the first comment from Spears since her plea to a judge on Wednesday to be freed from the conservatorship she has been under since 2008. Only days before, she insisted: “I’m having fun right now. I’m in a transition in my life and I’m enjoying myself."

But, Spears told Judge Brenda Penny: “I’ve lied and told the whole world ‘I’m OK and I’m happy. It’s a lie. I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it. But now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane. And I’m depressed. I cry every day."