Jon Steingard, frontman of Canadian Christian pop-punk band Hawk Nelson, said he was “terrified” to post a message on Instagram last week admitting that he doesn’t believe in God.
“It feels like it’s time for me to be honest,” wrote the 36-year-old Ontario native, who now calls San Diego home. "I hope this is not the end of the conversation, but the beginning. I hope this is encouraging to people who might feel the same but are as afraid to speak as I am.”
Steingard has played guitar for Hawk Nelson since 2004 and took over vocal duties in 2012. The band has released eight studio albums and earned Juno nominations in 2007 and 2012 for Contemporary Christian/Gospel Album of the Year.
“After growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor’s kid, playing and singing in a Christian band, and having the word ‘Christian’ in front of most of the things in my life – I am now finding that I no longer believe in God,” Steingard admitted.
“I have been terrified to be honest about this publicly for quite some time, because of all that I thought I would lose.”
He is speaking up now because Hawk Nelson “isn’t playing shows or making new music at the moment.” Unable to sing Christian songs “in good conscience,” Steingard said he is giving up his place in Christian music voluntarily.
Steingard said he was surprised to find out that “nearly every close friend my age who also grew up in the church” as well as “people in visible positions within Christian circles” feel the same way.
“I hope that my openness and transparency can be an encouragement to them, and to you, if you feel the same.”
The musician insisted the songs he wrote and performed were genuine. “I did believe those things at the time,” wrote Steingard, whose pastor father Jerry is an advisory leader at Jubilee Stratford in Ontario.
“Everyone I was close to believed in God, accepted Jesus into their hearts, prayed for signs and wonders, and participated in church, youth groups, conferences, and ministry,” Steingard recalled. “So I did too.”
He recalled thinking that praying in public was “some kind of weird performance art” and how, as a teen, he refused to sign a pledge to “date Jesus” for a year because “it felt manipulative and unsettling.”
Over time, the inconsistencies of the fables in the Bible made Steingard question his faith. “When I began to believe that the Bible was simply a book written by people as flawed and imperfect as I am,” he said, “that was when my belief in God truly began to unravel.”
In a statement, Hawk Nelson members Daniel Biro, Micah Kuiper and David Niacaris said “God is still FOR Jon & he still matters. Why? Because that truth doesn’t change just because we question it.”
Read Steingard's full message below: