Singer Jesy Nelson has reflected on the moment she knew she had to quit Little Mix, the British pop group she was part of for nine years.
The 29-year-old told the UK edition of Cosmopolitan her “breaking point” was working on the video for “Sweet Melody” last year.
“We’d been in lockdown, and [that had been] the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realize that until I went back to work,” Nelson explained. "I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety.”
Nelson said she felt an “enormous amount of pressure” to lose weight before going on camera.
“I’d been in lockdown, and I’d put on a bit of weight but I didn’t care. And [then] they said, ‘You’ve got a music video in a couple of weeks,’ and I just panicked. I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible,” she recalled.
“On the day of the ‘Sweet Melody’ video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself. I looked at the other three and they were having the time of their life.”
Nelson said she was sobbing in her dressing room when someone close to her told: “This has got to stop. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
She explained: “I was like, ‘I need to start taking care of myself now, because this isn’t healthy.’ It wasn’t nice for the other three to be around someone who didn’t want to be there.”
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Last November, Little Mix told fans Nelson was taking “extended time off” for “private medical reasons.” A month later, Nelson announced her departure from the group. At the time, she said: “The truth is recently being in the band has really taken a toll on my mental health. I find the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations very hard.”
In her conversation with Cosmopolitan, Nelson said the decision sparked “a mix of emotions” and she was surprised by the support she got from fans. “I … just sat in bed and cried because I was overwhelmed with how lovely everyone was being,” she said. “It was a shock to me. I couldn’t get over how much people were supporting me and understood.
“I was on a weird rollercoaster of emotions. I felt sad, because it was 10 years of my life that I was giving up. I felt scared, like, ‘Shit, what’s going to happen now?’ At the same time, I had glimpses of happiness, of, ‘I can do what I want now.’ I don’t feel trapped.”
Little Mix, formed in 2011, has enjoyed massive success in their native country but only one single – 2016’s “Shout Out to My Ex” – has cracked the Top 40 in Canada. Glory Days, the album featuring the track, was certified Gold in Canada, representing sales of 40,000 copies.