Paramore's Hayley Williams Opens Up About Dark Times
Paramore singer Hayley Williams has revealed she went through dark times during her short marriage to New Found Glory guitarist Chad Gilbert.
Together for eight years before they tied the knot in 2016, the couple’s marriage lasted a little more than a year.
“I had started to have a lot of suicidal thoughts,” Williams told L’Odet. “I was thinking about death all the time; I was thinking, ‘What is the point of anything ever? Why is this supposed to be the best time of my life? This is terrible.’
“I cared about my husband…like a brother. That’s the best way that I know to describe it. I knew that wasn’t right.”
The singer said she never really wanted to get married. "I thought I did, but I didn’t,” she said.
Williams, 30, described her divorce as “a train crash that I knew the whole time was coming — even from the moment we started dating.”
She explained: “I tried my best to pad it, wear all the right gear, and protect myself — and maybe even potentially, at the last second, derail the situation to where things might work out in a way I couldn’t foresee.
“When it really hit, I felt like such a failure. I felt embarrassed because I knew that I shouldn’t have gone through with the marriage.”
Though Williams walked away from pair amour, she doesn't envision walking away from Paramore. She said she can’t picture a time when the band no longer exists.
“I mean, I don’t think will look like it did,” she said. “We’re all friends and we all make music in different parts, together. So I feel like, yes, I want to be in Paramore. I never want to have to put out a press release that says we’re over or that I quit or that we’re taking a hiatus, which is essentially a marketing ploy these days.
“I would rather it just be. It just is a part of each of our DNA … I’ve been in a band with them since I was 12; I don’t think the band is going anywhere. As long as we’re friends, the band just is. It’s just in us.”