Snoop Bloggy Blogg: Musical about MJ's Glove
Variety is the Spice of Life
One thing I've really enjoyed about the 2000's to the 2020's (besides the rise of social media and the absolute nosedive of classy communication amongst humans) is the sheer amount of biopics and films coming out about old school rockstars and artists. The Dirt was great. Ray was great. Straight Outta Comption, Rocket Man, Bohemian Rhapsody, 8 Mile, Walk the Line, the list goes on long enough for you to build a nice long Netflix cue and wait out the Coronavirus for a couple years. It seems like there's a documentary available for everyone's favorite musicians....except for one. None other than our old friend; the butt of all the creepiest jokes the 90s and 00's could come up with.
Mr. Michael Jackson.
First of all, the only question rattling around in this old brain is simple: who would even play him? Wouldn't you need multiple actors? We could try Chadwick Boseman for the first half and perhaps Winona Ryder for the second? That would be perfect. Winona is synonymous with Stranger Things, MJ is synonymous with stranger danger, it just sorta works... well, perhaps not for this.
There’s a new musical coming out called For the Love of a Glove which sounds dirty but they swear it's not. It details Michael’s entire career, from beginning to end, from the perspective of his glove. And don’t think it’s all sunshine and rainbows, my friend, the glove show is pretty blunt about the racism and abuse he received as a child, the tumultuous rise to success as a teenager and all the wacky hijinks he embroiled in as an adult. Remember when he dangled his baby off a balcony? He named that kid Blanket. Life was never a dull moment.
Now hold on to your suspension of disbelief because it's about to take a beating. The gimmick in this show is that the glove is actually a space alien called Thrihil-Lha (clever) who offers Michael unlimited talent in exchange for sustenance, suggesting the glove is literally eating Michael alive... so the super serious story of MJ's life is played forward except not at all. They must have missed writing out the glove's Robert Johnson crossroads moment over on MJ's Wikipedia page.
But the question on my mind is simple: why stop there? As long as we’re diligently coming up with ideas, I already have one. The next glove musical they need to come out with needs to be about OJ Simpson. Imagine how much fun it would be sitting there with your kids singing “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquiiiiiiiit” with a cameo appearance by James Corden playing the Hamburger Helper glove. I just made Hollywood a zillion dollars right there.
I assume my Oscar will be in the mail.
Have a great day and try not to break anything,