My Coming Out Story

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Sunday is National Coming Out Day so I thought I’d share my coming out story with you. It wasn’t a pretty one all wrapped perfectly in a bow or an easy one by any means. I had a lot of internalized homophobia growing up for a long time. I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t even know what gay was to tell you the truth. I grew up in suburbia where it wasn’t really talked about in the early 90’s. To be completely transparent with you I thought I was a little boy for a long time because I vividly remember having a crush on a girl in my class in elementary school and as far as I knew boys liked girls and girls liked boys. It was really confusing growing up. I thought I’d hide my secret forever. I thought it was immoral and gross. I thought I was gross…until one day, years later; I started talking to a girl. I remember taking her to a party and completely ignoring her the entire night because I didn’t want anyone to get any inclination that she was with me in any type of way. Eventually I looked around the party and didn’t see her there. I called her and she told me she left. She also told me that I should probably figure my sh*t out before ever dragging someone into a situation like that again because obviously I acted like a grade A a**. I was so disappointed with myself for making another human feel that way just because I was ashamed by who I was and I never wanted to make anyone feel like that again. So the next morning I went and found all the important pals in my life and told them. I was the most nervous I’d ever been but I knew I could never fully live my truth if I didn’t embrace who I was, let alone make someone else feel crappy for being a closeted secret and getting treated like dirt. From that point on I started living a life I never thought I could live. A life I never thought I would live and damn did it feel good. It felt good to be me. To be free. To live Kylee Roman’s truth and be my authentic self. So if you’re reading this and you’re already out, wanting to come out, figuring your life out or a little unsure about what's next, just know your feelings and thoughts are valid. Take your time, this ish is hard and it’s not a race. I promise you WILL live your authentic truth when you feel ready and until then just take a breath. Give yourself credit and don’t be too hard on yourself. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. And remember, if you ever want to reach out or need an ear, I’ve always got your back, babe.