Some Thoughts Going Into A Weekend Where Nothing is "Calm and Bright"



It’s me, Josie.

Life’s weird as hell right now, isn’t it?

I can’t hear you responding to me but I know you’re nodding your head in agreeance with me because there’s not really any other choice but to do that, right? I just wanted to stop in and remind you that you’re doing a beautiful job dealing with one of the heaviest years you’ll likely ever experience. I know it’s hard amidst all of the madness to stop and pat yourself on the back, but as you read this I hope you can just take a moment to recognize how strong you are as a person for making it this far.

COVID can literally die. Like come on. I know it’s bad to wish death on anything but  I think we all can genuinely and in unison say “COVID 19, please die”. It’s okay, we’re allowed to be mad and sad and upset and angry about what we’re going through right now. It really feels a lot like déjà vu, doesn’t it?

I think the feeling of uncertainty that came hand in hand with the month of March will never be matched. It was scary, weird, daunting, basically any word that describes a lack of calm. The summer gave us a little break with some sunshine, time outdoors, lower numbers and establishments reopening, and really a sense of relief in a way.

That relief we got to experience in the summer months, I think we can all agree, has gone into hibernation, and now we’re left to deal with… this.

Usually you go into the Christmas (or the holiday) season singing lyrics like “all is calm and all is bright” but realistically nothing is calm, or bright, and that’s okay.

I am a single, 27 year old, anxiety ridden hypochondriac. So you can only imagine the waves of emotions I’ve experienced in this pandemic. I can’t even begin to imagine the ways it has affected you. Maybe it hasn’t at all, who am I to know. I do want you to know, though, that whatever way you’re feeling… it’s valid and there’s nothing wrong with being unsure and uncertain right now.

If you’re like me, your favorite thing in the entire world is Christmas, and hearing Trudeau say that there is absolutely no way for this Christmas to be normal, is heart wrenching 100 ways from Sunday. As weird as it is to take comfort in the fact that everyone is suffering in some way… it’s the full on truth that it helps to know you’re not alone, and you are not.

Going into this weekend particular, as we wait for news on a potential second lockdown, and cases rise, and the weather gets colder, it’s important to keep in mind that you’ve continually handled this situation with nothing but the utmost amount of grace.

If you want to spend this weekend being angry, sad, scared, upset and worried… do it. Feel all of the feelings. You absolutely deserve to. Life’s weird and this literally sucks. But once you’ve felt it, try and count your blessings if you can, because I promise there are several.

I guess the point I’m trying to get to in this crazy ramble is that I’m scared too. I used to love the term “six feet” especially while dating (kidding) and now I never want to hear it again. I miss my family and my friends. I bet everything I’m saying right now is echoing how you’re feeling too. See? Doesn’t it make you feel a little better to know you aren’t suffering alone? It doesn’t make you a sh*tty person I promise!

Love you so much, you’re killing it and doing great. You’re kicking a** and taking names. Just remember that.