The 5 [Terrifying] Stages Of Calling Into Work


1. Try to ignore the fact that it feels like World War III is going on inside of you.

2. Think about how much your co-workers will secretly hate you, even though they'll say 'it's cool.' 

3. Sit on your bed and stare at your phone for 20 minutes wondering if you can actually go through with it. 

4. Realize you have wasted too much time contemplating it so now if you do go, you will be late. 

5. Remember that you hate being late and that your body is not your friend today, so F*** IT, you send the message, retreat back to bed, and all is well until... you wake up again and feel even worse because you called into work like a jackass. But hey, at least you finished the last [and worst] season of Bloodline.


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