Britney Spears opened up Monday about the pain she felt during her conservatorship and the lack of control she had over her music.
“My family embarrassed me and hurt me deeply,” the 40-year-old pop icon wrote in a lengthy Instagram post, echoing comments she made to a judge in June.
Spears said she never confronted the people who hurt her because she didn’t want to create conflict. “I was NICE, FAKE and I was absolutely screaming inside,” she wrote. “I wanted to be nice but what they did to my heart was unforgivable !!!!!
“I screamed alone a lot and I kept all that pain to myself !!!!”
Britney Spears: iHeartRadio.ca Music News Coverage
Spears claimed that during her 13-year conservatorship she was not allowed to perform “new songs and remixes of my old songs.” She said it was “a set up to make me fail” and to “embarrass me and humiliate me.”
The pop star wrote: “I guess it seems odd to most now why I don’t even do my music anymore … People have no idea the awful things that were done to me personally … and after what I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the business !!!! They really hurt me !!!!!!!
“Not doing my music anymore is my way of saying ‘F**k You’ in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work. It’s like I’ve subconsciously let them win.”
Spears hasn't released a studio album since 2016's Glory and hasn't performed since her Piece of Me Tour ended in October 2018. In January 2019, Spears announced she was scrapping her Las Vegas residency show, Domination.
In an Instagram post in July, Spears vowed: “I'm not gonna be performing on any stages anytime soon with my dad handling what I wear, say, do, or think. I'm not gonna put on heavy makeup and try try try on stage again and not be able to do the real deal with remixes of my songs for years and begging to put my new music in my show for MY fans ... so I quit !!!!”
When Spears' conservatorship was ended last month, her lawyer Mathew Rosengart told reporters: "Whether Britney performs again will be up to Britney, at the right time."
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In Monday's Instagram post, Spears described 2021 as a year of growth but acknowledged she has “a ways to go!!!” She said her goal is to “push myself a bit more and do things that scare me.”