Demi Lovato opened up about her personal struggles, previewed her first album since 2017 – and confessed to wanting to make out with Rihanna – on Thursday’s episode of Ellen,.
“I lived a life for the past six years that I felt like wasn’t my own,” Lovato said. “I felt like it was controlled by so many people around me.”
While suffering from an eating disorder, the singer's reps took phones out of her hotel room so she couldn’t order room service and removed sugary snacks from dressing rooms. Instead of cake on her birthdays, she was given watermelon with fat-free whipped cream.
Lovato blamed her near-fatal drug overdose in July 2018 on “little things that led me to be really, really unhappy” during the six years she was sober. She recalled thinking: “I’m miserable. I’m even more miserable than I was when I was drinking. Why am I sober?”
After recovering from the overdose, Lovato replaced her team. Last year, she celebrated her birthday with new manager Scott “Scooter” Braun, her friend Ariana Grande – and a cake.
“I just remember crying because I was finally eating cake with a manager that didn’t need anything from me and who loved me for who I am and supported my journey,” she said.
During her appearance on Ellen, Lovato previewed “I Love Me,” a song in which she sings: “I’m an expert at giving love to somebody else” and “I wonder when ‘I love me’ is enough?’”
She said the single, out Friday, is not necessarily representative of the rest of the new album.
“This song is fun and lighthearted and it’s got a positive upbeat message,” she said. “There are songs on the album that are ugly honest and heavy and will make you cry and will take you there.”
Lovato said she is currently not overly interested in dating. “Right now I’m single and spending my Saturday nights by myself,” she said, adding she would like to get with Rihanna.
“I just want to make out, OK? I mean, we can do a song together, too,” said Lovato. “We can make out in the video.”
Watch Lovato's appearance on Ellen below: