Lil Xan says he regrets that his stage name hypes Xanax, which he now wants his fans to know is “not a good drug.”
In an interview with U.S. streaming series 60 Minutes+, the rapper – whose real name is Nicholas Diego Leanos – said: “I get that my name, in itself, is popularizing it. I always made that known that I didn't like that my name was popularizing it. But it's what worked for me.”
Xanax is one of several anti-anxiety drugs known as benzodiazepines (benzos).
Lil Xan, who turns 25 next month, said he was prescribed 0.5mg of a benzo when he was 18 to treat “intense anxiety” that he said would “jump out at the weirdest points in life.”
He explained: “I can do a show for thousands of people and I won’t have a drop of anxiety but the minute I’m in a closed environment, it could just be the most random thing, would just set me off.”
Lil Xan said at the peak of his addiction, he was taking at least a dozen 2mg pills a day that he got from street dealers.
“It was really bad... I was taking enough benzos to take down an elephant,” he recalled.
“I looked in the mirror and I'm, like, it was just that moment you know, like, if I keep doing this, I'm gonna die soon. So I just quit, cold turkey. And I actually ended up having a few seizures. And I landed in the hospital.”
Last July, Lil Xan referred to those seizures in a message to fans he posted on social media.
“About 2 months ago I suffered from multiple seizures. This was my second time in the last year I’ve been hospitalized for having seizures," he wrote. "I decided it was best for me, my friend’s (sic), family and supporters that I quit all prescriptions (sic) pills.
"The doctor’s (sic) wanted me to wean off the pills but I went cold turkey and although it has been the toughest time in my life I’m happy to say that I’ve been sober from all prescription pills since the scare.”
Lil Xan added: “This is the first time in along (sic) time that I have felt alive."